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PostSubject: Chuck Norris jokes   Chuck Norris jokes EmptyFri Apr 03, 2009 11:26 pm

got any good chuck norris jokes?

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
chuck norris can watch 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris jokes   Chuck Norris jokes EmptySun Apr 05, 2009 10:50 am

Chuck norris doesn't sleep, he waits

Chuck norris doesn't go hunting as hunting infers that you may not get anything, Chuck Noris goes killing

Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes, instead he just sends a photo of himself. Chuck Norris gets a refund every year

Underneath CHuck Norris's beard is not a chin, but in fact another fist

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris's tears cure everything including cancer and aids. Its a shame that Chuck Norris will never cry

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice

GUess who really likes Chuck Norris quotes?

Last edited by wattson86 on Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:42 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris jokes   Chuck Norris jokes EmptySun Apr 05, 2009 10:54 am

And my favourite

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his devilish good looks and unparrelled martial arts skill. As soon as the transaction was complete, Chuck Norris promtly roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and stole his soul back. Now the devil who appreciates irony and openly admits he really should have seen it coming plays poker with Chuck Norris every second Wednesday
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris jokes   Chuck Norris jokes EmptyWed Jun 03, 2009 7:38 am

Chuck norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gains the information he needs

Chuck norris can slam a revolving door

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights

And my favourite -

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe
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